


Stop PETTING the ENEMY, oh my GOD

by ghostchibi



Series: FalloutTale [3]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 2, Fallout 4, Fallout: New Vegas, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, POV Second Person, Post-Pacifist Route, messy attempt at cooking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5436023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostchibi/pseuds/ghostchibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cass and Chosen try to give Sole another cooking lesson, because <em>clearly</em> the last one went so well and definitely didn't end with Cass's house <em>catching on fire</em> or anything.</p><p>Courier's just gonna stay out of the way until they're done, and hope that their house doesn't burn down too.</p><p>-----</p><p>More Fallout/Undertale crossover stuff, this time with Undyne!Cass, Papyrus!Chosen One, Frisk!Sole Survivor, and Sans!Courier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop PETTING the ENEMY, oh my GOD

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this to be honest.

"well, i'm sure you're all going to do great. i'm gonna take a nap. have fun."

Courier excuses themself hastily, before Chosen has a chance to catch their sibling from more or less fleeing from the kitchen.

"COURIER! GET BACK HERE!" Chosen yells. "YOU ALREADY TOOK A NAP LAST NIGHT! FOR AT LEAST EIGHT HOURS!"

You've tried to explain to Chosen that those aren't naps, and that sleeping at night is the normal thing for living beings to do, but apparently Chosen doesn't seem to understand. Or doesn't think that it's necessary. Given that Courier and Chosen don't look completely... corporeal, for that matter, you wonder if Chosen is right and Courier is just being incredibly lazy.

But Courier being lazy is as much a reality of life as Chosen being loud, or Cass being excited about everything. You're also convinced that Courier isn't lazy as much as they are... sad.

(Maybe one day you'll be able to convince Courier that it's all okay. That nothing bad is going to happen. You're just Sole, nobody else.)

"So, do you want to try spaghetti again?" Cass asks. You nod vigorously and grin.

"GREAT!" she yells, and Chosen throws up their hands in the air, whooping.

"Okay, SAUCE!" Cass practically screams.

"YES! SAUCE!" Chosen joins in. "WE WILL MAKE THESE WHOLESOME, HEALTHY VEGETABLES INTO A TASTY SPAGHETTI SAUCE!"

Cass slams her fist down onto a bell pepper, and smashes it flat. Chosen does the same with a tomato, except without quite enough force, causing the vegetable to fly out from under their hand and splatter against the tiled backsplash of the kitchen.

"WHOOPS."

And now it's your turn. You spot a... carrot? Sure, why not. You consider punching it with all of your might, but carrots are rather hard. So instead of smashing it, like the other two, you give it a gentle pat to reassure it. For some reason.

"OH MY GOD, _DON'T PET THE ENEMY!_ "

* * *

You get the distinct feeling that Courier is going to murder you, Cass, and Chosen.

The kitchen is a mess. There are noodles all over the stovetop, a few of them sticking out of the stove on fire due to falling into the flame under the cover. The pot itself has a terrible dent in the side, and you're not sure who caused it or how it got there, only that it wasn't there when the three of you started your cooking lesson. It looks suspiciously like Cass's fist, though.

At some point, someone had smashed a banana with the intention of putting it into the sauce. It never made it in, having been plastered to the side of the fridge instead. You look up, and find the onion that had gone missing lodged between two lightbulbs in the ceiling.

At least the spaghetti is pretty good.

You've eaten a plate, Cass is on her second, Chosen is on their _fourth_ , and you notice that there's just enough left in the pot for one serving. Maybe Courier won't be so unhappy with the mess if you bring them some of the masterpiece the three of you made.

"SOLE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Chosen asks you as you walk past carrying the last plate of spaghetti and a fork.

 _"For Courier,"_ you sign as best as you can with a plate in one hand and a fork in the other, without dropping either.

"WHAT A GOOD IDEA! MAYBE COURIER WILL TASTE OUR WONDERFUL SPAGHETTI AND BE MOTIVATED TO STOP SLEEPING!"

You're not exactly sure if that's how motivation works.

You climb up the stairs, precariously balancing your gift, and knock on the door to Courier's room. It's the one that's locked, and isn't covered with signs proclaiming that no girls or boys can enter, but Chosen can. Of course, this also means that you can enter, as evidenced by Chosen allowing them in that one time when you had visited Courier and Chosen's house in the Underground.

"yeah?"

You knock three times with your knuckles, and then three times with the palm of your hand to indicate that it's you. There's some rustling, and then the door opens to show Courier.

"hi buddy. oh, is that for me?"

You hold the plate and fork out, nodding.

"aw, that's nice of you," they say, accepting the spaghetti. "y'know what, you can come in."

The door opens further to allow you in, and the first thing you notice is...

"yeah, that's another self-sustaining tornado of trash," Courier explains before you can even ask. The rest of the room looks like a mess, although not quite as confusing as the trash tornado. "sorry. i don't usually have guests."

Courier sits down in the middle of the room, and you sit down next to them.

"so how did the cooking lesson go?"

You hesitate for a moment, considering whether to mention the horrible mess in the kitchen or not. Too late though, because Courier laughs.

"aside from the kitchen."

Oh. You tell Courier that you enjoyed the lesson, and that the spaghetti turned out great. Somehow.

"that's good."

Courier twirls up some spaghetti, and then swallows. You hear a soft "splat" as it phases straight through Courier's non-corporeal bits and lands on the floor. Human food doesn't turn to energy instantaneously, like monster food. Courier seems to enjoy the spaghetti regardless.

"thanks, buddy. it tastes really good."

Your heart swells with pride a little. Courier pats you on the head with a grin, a piece of spaghetti caught between two rows of big teeth, before it's slurped up.

You tell Courier that everything is okay, and that it's all going to be okay. Everyone is on the surface, again. It's all worked out for the best, this time.

"yeah... i know."


End file.
